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Image of All Seven Turdcules Toilet Elixir scents

Finally, you can take a sh*t without smelling like sh*t...or flowers.

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Centuries of research shows that you have a better chance of glimpsing the mighty Bigfoot himself than sniffing out a pile of his fresh, steamy butt nuggets. If you're wondering how our bearded-bodied bro's are crackin' off butt bazookas right under our noses, then look no further. Introducing Turdcules' Sasquat Toilet Elixir. Used by man, but made for a Living Legend.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules Sasquat Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Camping & Living Legends
  • Really smells like Woodland Berries & a cacophony of Evergreen Trees
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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In Ancient Greece, Sailors would call upon Poseidon to calm the seas and protect their ships and crews. Many a drunken sailor and cursed ship have met their demise by the wrath of the god of the sea. With Turdcules' Pooseidon Toilet Elixir, you'll reign over the porcelain ocean with the ferocity of an Olympian while the sweet smells of sunken wooden ships and tropical rum tantalize your nosebuds.

 

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules Pooseidon Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Sunken Ships & Drunken Sailors
  • Really smells like Teakwood, Coconuts and Caribbean Rum
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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Somewhere in the wilderness, there’s a gristly man harnessing the power of wood and steel to bring warmth and light to his world. He’s powerful, bearded and his sh*t doesn’t stink. While we hold no remedy for weak grips and smooth upper lips, Turdcules’ Log Splitter Toilet Elixir will shower your olfactory receptor neurons with the sweet aroma of leather, hard-work and coniferous trees.

 

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules LogSplitter Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Tree Bark & Grit
  • Really smells like cedarwood, leather & amberwood moss
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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Every morning, humans across the globe slip into their neoprene unitards and hit the waves in search of the most boisterously, bodacious bevy of barrels. They wait with the patience of the tide itself, but they dare not move. So how do they cope when nature is coaxing their cavern of soggy sea-snakes back to the wild? Simple. A savage Aqua Dump. With Turdcules’ Turdally Awesome Toilet Elixir, you’ll smell the exhilaration of catching the most wicked waves without the pressure of the impending tush-turtle invasion.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules Turdally Awesome Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Good Vibes & Wicked Waves
  • Really smells like satsuma, mint and a hint of cayenne pepper
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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There’s somethin’ special about the bond between a Grandfather and their grandchildren. From coffee to pipe tobacco, this dude’s musk had been expertly crafted from years of bad-assery. When he spoke; you listened as if he were ancient living history. With Turdcules’ There’s Somethin’ Brewing Toilet Elixir, you’ll travel back to simpler times when morning coffee, a morning smoke and morning movement were the best way to start the day.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules There's Somethin' Brewing Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Wisdom & Grandpa's Stories
  • Really smells like coffee, Cuban cigars and cherry pipe tobacco
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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When it comes to delivering a destructively potent payload, we, men, remain steadfast to our doodie. We stand ready to detonate a calamitous cacophony which sleeps silently within the steel-belly of our floating fortress. With the push of a button, we summon rains of molten metal, fire, and water. With Turdcules’ Turdpedo Toilet Elixir, you’ll sit proudly at your battle station surrounded by the sweet smells of Sunburns and Victory.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules Turdpedo Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Sunburns & Victory
  • Really smells like grapefruit, lime, motor oil and explosions
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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For Tennesseans, many of our defining moments involve friends, family, bonfires and enough whiskey to fuel an F-22. With Turdcules’ Tennessee Hangover Toilet Elixir, you’ll enjoy the sweet smells of Tennessee Whiskey, a raging bonfire and all the bad decisions you can’t remember.

 

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Turdcules Tennessee Hangover Toilet Elixir
  • Smells like Bonfires & Bad Decisions
  • Really smells like campfires and smooth whiskey
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA

Each spray of your Turdcules Toilet Elixir deploys a massive fleet of microscopic, turd-tacklin' battleships, barricading your belligerently, baneful brown bio-bombs beneath the surface of the porcelain sea.

For decades, society has gradually lowered the gavel of oppression on our manhood, and we say ENOUGH! The days of glitter beards and fruity beers are over, and a Man-volution will rise from the grease and sawdust to capture what was once ours…the toilet.

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The Mountain Man Collection includes three 2 fl/oz bottles of Turdcules Toilet Elixirs - that's 300+ trips to the throne!

COLLECTION DETAILS

  • Turdcules Toilet Elixir - The Mountain Man Collection
  • Collection includes Sasquat, LogSplitter, and Tennessee Hangover
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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The Craptain's Choice Collection includes three 2 fl/oz bottles of Turdcules Toilet Elixirs - that's 300+ trips to the throne!

COLLECTION DETAILS

  • Turdcules Toilet Elixir - The Mountain Man Collection
  • Collection includes Pooseidon, Turdpedo, and Turdally Awesome
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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The Legendary Collection includes ALL seven 2 fl/oz bottles of Turdcules Toilet Elixirs - that's 700+ trips to the throne!

COLLECTION DETAILS

Each spray of your Turdcules Toilet Elixir deploys a massive fleet of microscopic, turd-tacklin' battleships, barricading your belligerently, baneful brown bio-bombs beneath the surface of the porcelain sea.

For decades, society has gradually lowered the gavel of oppression on our manhood, and we say ENOUGH! The days of glitter beards and fruity beers are over, and a Man-volution will rise from the grease and sawdust to capture what was once ours…the toilet.


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