50% off Orders w/1 + Bottles. Code "lastchance"

Made for men, but strong enough for women too!

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Every morning, humans across the globe slip into their neoprene unitards and hit the waves in search of the most boisterously, bodacious bevy of barrels. They wait with the patience of the tide itself, but they dare not move. So how do they cope when nature is coaxing their cavern of soggy sea-snakes back to the wild? Simple. A savage Aqua Dump. With Turdcules’ Turdally Awesome Toilet Elixir, you’ll smell the exhilaration of catching the most wicked waves without the pressure of the impending tush-turtle invasion.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Perfect gift for Valentine's Day and Father's Day - Free Gift Box w/each bottle.
  • Smells like Good Vibes & Wicked Waves
  • Really smells like Satsuma, Mint & Cayenne Pepper
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE - Use in your boat or RV!
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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There’s somethin’ special about the bond between a Grandfather and their grandchildren. From coffee to pipe tobacco, this dude’s musk had been expertly crafted from years of bad-assery. When he spoke; you listened as if he were ancient living history. With Turdcules’ There’s Somethin’ Brewing Toilet Elixir, you’ll travel back to simpler times when morning coffee, a morning smoke and morning movement were the best way to start the day.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Perfect gift for Valentine's Day and Father's Day- Free Gift Box w/each bottle.
  • Smells like Wisdom & Grandpa's Stories
  • Really smells like Coffee Beans & Pipe Tobacco
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE - Use in your boat or RV!
  • Proudly Made in the USA
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When it comes to delivering a destructively potent payload, we, men, remain steadfast to our doodie. We stand ready to detonate a calamitous cacophony which sleeps silently within the steel-belly of our floating fortress. With the push of a button, we summon rains of molten metal, fire, and water. With Turdcules’ Turdpedo Toilet Elixir, you’ll sit proudly at your battle station surrounded by the sweet smells of Sunburns and Victory.

PRODUCT DETAILS

  • Perfect gift for Valentine's Day and Father's Day - Free Gift Box w/each bottle.
  • Smells like Sunburns & Victory
  • Really smells like Gunpowder, Motor Oil, Grapefruit & Lime
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE - Use in your boat or RV!
  • Proudly Made in the USA

For decades, society has gradually lowered the gavel of oppression on our manhood, and we say ENOUGH! The days of glitter beards and fruity beers are over, and a Man-volution will rise from the grease and sawdust to capture what was once ours…the toilet.

Buy 3 Bottles and SAVE!

(Handy Dandy Gift Boxes Included)

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For decades, society has gradually lowered the gavel of oppression on our manhood, and we say ENOUGH! The days of glitter beards and fruity beers are over, and a Man-volution will rise from the grease and sawdust to capture what was once ours…the toilet.

Sold out

FREE GIFT BOX INCLUDED

Save nearly $4 vs. 3 Individual Bottles!

The Craptain's Choice Collection includes three 2 fl/oz bottles of Turdcules Toilet Elixirs - that's 300+ trips to the throne!

COLLECTION DETAILS

  • Turdcules Toilet Elixirs - The Mountain Man Collection
  • Collection includes Pooseidon, Turdpedo, and Turdally Awesome in our custom gift box
  • 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
  • SEPTIC-SAFE
  • Proudly Made in the USA

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