The holidays can be difficult to celebrate if things aren’t smelling great. Nothing can ruin a festive mood like the festering aroma of someone’s poop — especially if that poop came from you.
Whether you’re flying solo or attending a mixer, here are five occasions when you should use our elixir.
1. When You’re Hosting the Big Meal
Few holiday traditions can be as stressful as having your whole family over for dinner.
Not only do you have to clean and decorate your house, but you’re also in charge of making sure everybody has enough to eat. And after everyone is done lining up for turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, they’ll soon be lining up to attack your plumbing.
When the big day comes, candles are fine, but some easily accessible Turdcules is infinitely better for guests to use before they jiggle the handle.
2. When You Meet the Parents
This is it. Things are getting pretty serious. You like each other a lot, and now it’s time to find out if your significant other’s parents like you.
Don’t let a number two ruin your chances with your number one. When your love’s parents invite you to their home, bring a bottle of Turdcules in case you need to visit the throne.
Before you send some little Fockers circling down the drain, give a few sprays in the bowl to stay in your future in-laws’ circle of trust.
3. At the Office Party
Do you have a co-worker who tends to lower the boom in the employee restroom?
Give him or her the gift of Turdcules.
When it’s time for Secret Santa, quietly pick the offending farty. When they unwrap your gift, they’ll catch your drift about catching all those whiffs, and perhaps the stall down the hall will finally go from smelling naughty to smelling nice.
And who knows? Our potion might even help you get that promotion.
4. In the Porta Potty at the Parade
Holiday parades are great. The portable toilets that often accompany them? Not so much.
Porta potties are almost always dirty, they don’t flush, and their holding tank stank can be enough to make you gag while urine there.
If you’re planning to attend a holiday parade this year — and you think you might have to drop a few floaters in between floats — take along some Turdcules.
Not only can Turdcules help turn your brown frown upside down when you have to use one of those terrible toilets, but the folks behind you in line will be relieved when it’s their turn to relieve themselves.
5. When You’re Driving Grandma Home
It happens every year. After the big holiday meal — and after everyone else has left — someone needs to drive Grandma home.
We all go a bit overboard when it comes to holiday eating, and if you’re the designated driver this year — and if Grandma lives a good distance away — there’s a good chance that you’ll have to drop the kids off at the pond at the same time you’re dropping Grandma off at her door.
After you put on your coat, put a bottle of Turdcules in your pocket. Grandma might not be as sharp as she used to be, but she’s still bound to notice if you leave her place smelling like sharp cheese when you leave to go home.
Turdcules can make your holidays — and all your days — smell better. Visit our "Buy" page to learn more about our scents.
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