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Fart Pills: Are they real, and can they save Valentine’s Day?

There are pills for everything: headaches, sleepless nights, high blood pressure, and now...farts?

Yes, apparently so.

We were (sadly) too late to the game over the holiday season to learn of what has been marketed as a “totally natural remedy for stinky farts.”

You see, a Frenchman that goes by the name Lutin Malin (“Clever Elf”) claims to have devised pills that turn our funkiest farticle clouds into more pleasant butt gusts. And just in time for Old Saint Nick, UNILAD ran an article about his Christmas-themed chocolate-scented wonder pills.

Too bad we didn’t see the story until after the New Year.

But wait!

It turns out that Monsieur Malin has more options in his repertoire. Indeed, he also has a Valentine’s Day ginger-smelling pill. Which made us wonder, what the heck does ginger have to do with Valentine’s Day? (Those wacky French.)

Anyway, if ginger isn’t your idea of an amorous scent, it appears you can also choose from violets and roses too.

*Pops pill* “Who needs real roses, babe? I’m cookin’ up a bouquet right now.”

We haven’t field tested any of these pills yet, so we can’t really vouch for them. But if international shipping is your thing, knock yourself out.

If it’s not, we can get some Turdcules to your door in a jiffy.

No rose scents yet (or probably ever), but you should head over to our “Buy” page to learn more about our 7 super-manly toilet elixir products.
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